Hyderabad, Aug 18: Vangipurappu Venkata Sai Laxman announced his retirement from international cricket with immediate effect at the Rajiv Gandhi International Stadium in Hyderabad on Saturday. After reading out his retirement speech, in which he thanked everyone who played a role in his 16-year-long career for India, he addressed the questions of a large gathering of media persons.

Here are the excerpts of his interaction with the media.

What forced the hasty decision to retire?

I won’t say it’s hasty. I’ve always read and listened to a lot of sportspersons who have excelled in their respective careers saying that at the end of your career there will be a certain thought, feeling within you which will tell that the day has come when you have to leave the sport and move on. And I think I experienced that over the last four-five days. It has definitely been a tough decision for me because as, I mentioned earlier, I took a lot of pride in playing for my country and I think I got an opportunity to do something for the country through cricket. I’ve always listened to my inner conscience.

I listened to my voice inside and that is also why I took cricket as a career. I always wanted to become a doctor at the age of 10. But my inner voice said I want to become a cricketer which was definitely a tougher career path. And common sense says that you prefer medicine over cricket because it’s a gamble taking cricket over medicine. Bu I listened to my inner voice and I feel inner voice is a divine voice. Throughout my career I’ve listened to my inner voice, what my conscience feels right for me to do and there was definitely a lot of debate internally over the last 4-5 days since the time this thought has come. I have always given a lot of importance to [the] team’s needs and requirements. I always played the game over the last 16 years only with the purpose of putting country ahead of personal aspirations. And I felt that one of my personal aspirations is to do well against teams like England and Australia for the sole reason that we didn’t do well against them last year. And that was the drive, that was the motivation for me to be part of the team which achieves success against them. But I felt it was the right time for me to move on so that an opportunity can be given to a youngster to play in the home conditions. It is very important that the youngster should get an opportunity to play in the home condition, especially keeping in view the overseas tours next year. It was a very tough decision that is why late until last night I was trying to make up my mind because it’s an opportunity for me to definitely continue playing cricket. I worked hard over the last 3 and a half months but I think I am listening to my inner voice and that is very important and I feel really satisfied that I have left the game with the same ideals I played the game with throughout my career. I’m thankful to the Almighty for giving me the opportunity to take the right decision.

You have been selected for entire New Zealand Test series. Did the selectors know of your plans?

In fact I communicated to the selectors only this morning. I communicated to the chairman of selection committee and the board this morning that I’m not going to continue playing cricket and hang my boots.

How has your family reacted to your decision?

It’s definitely an emotional moment for everyone. Leave alone my family but the entire cricket fraternity. It’s really heartening and very emotional for me to read the number of messages since the time people got to know that I’m announcing my retirement. So obviously there are a lot of people who didn’t want me to retire and lot of people who’d have loved for me to continue playing. But luckily for me my family has always supported me. As I mentioned it was a very tough decision. The only thing my parents told me was follow your inner voice. That’s the whole reason I started playing cricket, as I mentioned in my press note my parents gave me independence and freedom to choose cricket as a career. They told me you’ve always played the game listening to your inner conscience and it should not be anything different now.

Didn’t you consider going after the two Tests against New Zealand?

I never thought I would actually quit before NZ series. Definitely and I’m very glad the selectors reposed faith in me. I’m sure they know I could contribute to the success of Indian cricket but saying that it’s time to listen to my inner voice which I think is very critical and crucial for me and that’s what I have done.

What was the selectors’ response when you spoke to them about your retirement?

They were surprised and they were definitely not happy with that. Like the way I convinced my family which was very difficult task, I convinced the chairman of selection committee and also the board president that this is what I am feeling at the moment and I think I’d be happy if they accept my decision. I must say that with great reluctance they have accepted the decision.

Did you have a word with skipper MS Dhoni?

Since morning I had a lot of chats with all my teammates and it was very very emotional. It was unbelievable the kind of love and affection they shared and obviously they were surprised. They didn’t expect that from me. I was trying to get through to MS but it’s obviously very difficult to reach him [laughs] and everyone knows that. Saying that it was very emotional last 4-5 hours talking to all my teammates with whom I’ve shared the best of my life and best of my career. It’s been really heartening to see the kind of love, the kind of affection they have got towards me.

What goes through your mind when you watch the recording of your 281-run knock in Kolkata?

What goes through my mind is ‘what a test match that was!’. And how lucky I am, not only me, how lucky we all were to be part of history. And it was just that whenever we watch that match it gives all of us a lot of inspiration because for the only single fact that the way we got back from such a tough situation. It’s always emotional whenever you watch the Kolkata Test match.

Cricketers talk about giving back to cricket. What are your thoughts on this?

Definitely, there will be various opportunities for me to give back to the sport which has given me everything. Starting by contributing to Hyderabad cricket. Because of my international commitment, I couldn’t give time here. But whenever I got an opportunity I spent my time sharing my experience with them. This season I will be playing with them and sharing with them my experience. Winning the Ranji Trophy is also a dream and I hope to achieve that this season.

Who was the toughest bowler you’ve faced in your career?

The toughest bowler I faced was definitely Wasim Akram for the variations he had and the skill he had. And he was the master of variation. But saying that international cricket gave me an opportunity to play the best bowlers world over and that’s the challenge which probably got the best out of me. Regarding the innings any innings which helped the team win the game or save the game from dire straits have always been close to me and I was fortunate that during my career I got an opportunity to play such important innings for the country. So I cannot single out one innings, there are quite some and some matches I will definitely cherish all that.

Talk about your 96-run knock in the Durban Test

As I mentioned every knock which helps the team win the game or save it from tough situation is close to me. So Durban was definitely one of those knocks. And I’m sure apart from my contribution we won the Test match. You know wining a Test match in tough South African conditions and Durban is supposed to be toughest ground; toughest wicket to play on in South Africa and winning in the fashion we did will be very memorable to me.

Was there any pressure on you to quit?

I never regret the decisions I take for the simple reason that my conscience is clear and I feel that God has been very kind. I’ve been given an opportunity to play for the country for 16 glorious years. We all love the game so much and as I mentioned very few get the opportunity, very few get the privilege to represent the country for so long. You’d never want to leave. You always love the game because that’s what you are passionate about and that passion actually drives you forward. Having said that, I’m very satisfied with the decision I’ve taken and I definitely not regret the decision.

Were you hurt by the comments of various cricket experts who said you should leave?

Right from the start of my career there have been a lot of people who wrote negative about me but there have been more number of people who actually were my well wishers and talked positive about me. But in a country where cricket is more a religion than sport if you try to satisfy each and everyone it is next to impossible. And that is why that I have always followed my inner conscience and did what is good for the team. And I felt that even in my exit I’ll be following the ideals for which I played the game and that is to keep the team’s needs ahead of my personal aspiration. So definitely those comments have nothing to do with this decision. It was what I experienced in the last 3-4 days which I never experienced before.

Any regrets in your long career?

See this is the time where I’m just cherishing my fabulous journey. During 16 years there will be disappointments there will be a lot of success. But at this moment, a moment where I’m announcing my retirement, I’d really not talk about the disappointments but I’d like to thank to everyone that I got an opportunity to play for the country for so long. So I wouldn’t like to think about any disappointments I had in my career.

Talk about your team-mates, the fab-five.

What can I say? They are the legends of the game and I think it was my privilege and honour to play not only with Sachin, Rahul but also Anil Kumble, Virender Sehwag, Sourav and lot of other players who I played with at the start of my career. All these players inspired me for one single reason that all of them had one single goal in their mind which is to do well for the country and the progress of India cricket. So, all these players are real role models not only for me for the future generation as well.

There are many people who’d have wanted you to bow out of cricket after playing a Test in your own city…

I must have disappointed a lot of well wishers starting with my family. I’m sure my family would have loved to walk into this ground and watch me play in my last Test match for the country. I am sincerely apologising to all my well wishers across the world and more importantly in Hyderabad that I am not giving them an opportunity to see me one last time. But saying that it’s very important that I stick to what I believe which is to give an opportunity to a youngster and no better opportunity than against New Zealand bowling attack. So I feel that while I know that I’m disappointing my fans and well wishers I think that I’ve taken the right decision in the interest of the game.

What are your views about the current crop of cricketers in Hyderabad?

Recently I played against Karnataka president’s XI in a tournament conducted by KSCA for Hyderabad team. I was really impressed by a lot of youngsters. I cannot single out one of them. I was impressed by a lot of youngsters and I think the future of Hyderabad cricket, especially the batting department, looks very positive. The way a lot of youngsters contributed in some tough situations in the last Ranji Trophy and the way they promoted Hyderabad cricket back to Elite [Division] is a positive sign and I can say that there will be at least 2-3 cricketers in the batting department who in the near future will knock the doors of national selectors.

Any plans to join administration?

My friends in HCA [Hyderabad Cricket Association], MV Sridhar, Venkatapathi Raju are also doing an excellent job for HCA. It’s too early for me to say. I’m not sure in what way I’ll contribute to Hyderabad cricket in future. My immediate goal will be and the most important goal would be to play with them in Ranji Trophy, share my experiences with them and try to do what my seniors did when I started playing cricket. I learnt a lot from my seniors in this room while I was growing and if I can share some of my experiences to help some youngsters to realise their potential I will be very happy.

Is an autobiography on the cards?

I think I’ll have a lot of free time. I’ll definitely think along those lines. I want to share my journey with all my well wishers and fans but I don’t know when. But now that I have a lot of free time I’ll definitely think about it.